Thanks Anyway

I am gulping back tears. Knowing that today is the day for counting blessings and feeling like I don't have time, I am NOT thankful, I am overwhelmed...there is too much to do, too much expected, too many needs...stupid stuff, things that shouldn't have to be done, it's not fair to be asked. Feeling pressed and pushed and victimized.

And then I read this...

She says she teaches a home-school preschooler co-op. She says she began counting 1000 gifts.

She says she gave all her preschoolers their own gratitude journals. I swallow hard.

Last week she called four-year-old J. to come with his journal and she'd record more of his gifts for him. They sit down. She looks across the table at this little man.

"So, what are you thankful for today?" Teren asks J.

"I'm thankful that it's not my birthday," says J.

My eyebrows shoot high. Really?

"That's exactly what I did when he said that," Teren laughs, gorgeous sky.

"So I clarified, 'You don't like birthdays, J?'"

And J says, "I love birthdays. And I haven’t had one in a long time."

Then why would he.... ?

Teren leans across the table to me and directly lays the little boy's words into my hands.

"I’m saying thanks anyway.”

That story is from Ann Voskamp's blog, www.aholyexperience.com. Her post from today, May 3, 2010.

And I am as seared as she was.

And I know it's not going to help get the bugs identified. It's not going to get K-group dessert made. It's not going to get Ella's birthday presents bought or the cupcakes made. It's not going to get the bags packed for Winston-Salem, or the milk bought, or the laundry folded, or the Mother's Day gifts bought and mailed. But aren't these things part of God's plan to make me and mold me? To give glory to Himself? So surely it will help my heart

to say thanks...

48. For the science teacher who gives too many assignments at the end of the year.
49. For those bugs that I can't, and the book can't, and the web can't identify.
50. For the huge pile of unfolded laundry on the counter in the laundry room.
51. For needing to be in three places at the same time.
52. For thin, grey hair and crow's feet and a sore knee.

And...

53. For Dr. Davis, who reminds and reminds and reminds us that God is our God. He can never be anything less than our God. He is not ashamed to be called our God.