Thanks Anyway

I am gulping back tears. Knowing that today is the day for counting blessings and feeling like I don't have time, I am NOT thankful, I am overwhelmed...there is too much to do, too much expected, too many needs...stupid stuff, things that shouldn't have to be done, it's not fair to be asked. Feeling pressed and pushed and victimized.

And then I read this...

She says she teaches a home-school preschooler co-op. She says she began counting 1000 gifts.

She says she gave all her preschoolers their own gratitude journals. I swallow hard.

Last week she called four-year-old J. to come with his journal and she'd record more of his gifts for him. They sit down. She looks across the table at this little man.

"So, what are you thankful for today?" Teren asks J.

"I'm thankful that it's not my birthday," says J.

My eyebrows shoot high. Really?

"That's exactly what I did when he said that," Teren laughs, gorgeous sky.

"So I clarified, 'You don't like birthdays, J?'"

And J says, "I love birthdays. And I haven’t had one in a long time."

Then why would he.... ?

Teren leans across the table to me and directly lays the little boy's words into my hands.

"I’m saying thanks anyway.”

That story is from Ann Voskamp's blog, www.aholyexperience.com. Her post from today, May 3, 2010.

And I am as seared as she was.

And I know it's not going to help get the bugs identified. It's not going to get K-group dessert made. It's not going to get Ella's birthday presents bought or the cupcakes made. It's not going to get the bags packed for Winston-Salem, or the milk bought, or the laundry folded, or the Mother's Day gifts bought and mailed. But aren't these things part of God's plan to make me and mold me? To give glory to Himself? So surely it will help my heart

to say thanks...

48. For the science teacher who gives too many assignments at the end of the year.
49. For those bugs that I can't, and the book can't, and the web can't identify.
50. For the huge pile of unfolded laundry on the counter in the laundry room.
51. For needing to be in three places at the same time.
52. For thin, grey hair and crow's feet and a sore knee.

And...

53. For Dr. Davis, who reminds and reminds and reminds us that God is our God. He can never be anything less than our God. He is not ashamed to be called our God.

A Thousand Thanks

I know how awful this blog looks now. I tried changing the design template to give myself room to make the photos as big as they could be. But it's kindof ugly. I'll probably change it back soon. In the meantime, I am so very thankful for

36. The safety of all Yazoo Peasters during the tornadoes Saturday.

37. Breakfast for supper.

38. My mother, of whom pancakes always make me think. (Take that, grammar police!) She makes the best pancakes; and she will make them for my children for three meals a day, if that's what they prefer (and they often do). One of my favorite memories is of her cooking pancakes at the old house in Yazoo City (the babies called it "Mom L City") with a toddler September Baby sitting on the counter nearby, helping her flip them and then eating them warm and spread with plum jelly.

39. The other folks on the pulpit committee.

40. A new Amelia Peabody book last week and a new Mary Russell this week!

41. Del Sol Mexican Restaurant.

42. Naps...oh, wait, I used that one last week...so...

42. Natural gas and really hot water...as the song says, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

43. The appearance of the first tree frog on our big front window.

44. Sarah, who likes to clean things out and who came to help me clean out the carport today. (Isn't this beautiful? The children wanted to eat in there!)

45. The first snow cones of the season.

46. KaBoom Bowl Blaster Foaming Toilet Bowl Cleaner.

Look what it does! It really does foam!








47. This...

A Thousand Thanks

I began this list on Monday (honestly!) but never had time to upload photos and finish it until today. Today I have time because I am at home. I am at home waiting for the man from Willmut Gas to come reconnect our natural gas, which was disconnected yesterday due to non-payment. I am so ashamed. And this time, I can't even blame Harry Potter.

So...I'm here. But I can't (won't!) take a shower. I can't make spaghetti sauce. I can't dry laundry.

But I CAN play here and praise God for his goodness.

24. Pizza delivery, when the stove isn't working (see above).

25. Curly, long, thick, dark eyelashes...like their daddy's.

 
26. Fields of red clover.

27. Siblings playing together.

28. A diligent boy who does his work without being prodded...though it tends to make me a lazy mommy.

29. Baby kittens cradled on my babies' chests. (Thank you, Bentons and Lucy, for sharing!)

30. Abundance and bounty.

31. Forgiveness for not being thankful enough...and for not using the bounty wisely.

32. Sunday afternoon naps.

33. This reminder from Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience (aholyexperience.com):

"Remember that there is but one difference between us and the soil under our feet, under our plowshare, under our food... One difference only between the dirt in my hand and my hand...

The breath of God."

34. And...OH! PRAISE GOD! The Willmut Gas man who came when he said he would!

35. My dear, dear college roommate and enduring friend Mary Beth, whose birthday is today.

A Thousand Thanks

Monday? Again? Good grief. And, honestly, this is the last time I am going to comment on how quickly the weeks fly. From now on, I'll just plunge in with the list.

18. Reconnecting with old friends...even without Facebook. (Thanks, Cindy!)

19. Traveling mercies.

20. For fishing and catching big(ish) fish

and tiny ones.

21. An important goal made on a gorgeous spring day.

22. The third generation of friends with whom to celebrate it.


23. A beautiful week of spring days.

A Thousand Thanks

Again, it is Monday. Doesn't it come around quickly? The day I have designated to add to my list of things for which I am thankful. And not just any Monday...

11. Easter Monday. The first day after the resurrection! Imagine years ago, how word was spreading...rumors? No! Real! Praise God. The "first day of the rest of Jesus' life" in which sits our Heavenly Father's right hand where He intercedes for us, loves us, saves us.

12. Sweet fellowship and succulent food with friends after church yesterday.

13. The silliness and high spirits of boys out of school. Boys who will still sit on my lap.

14. Madras patchwork shorts on a lanky, long-haired 12-year-old boy. Even though he'd rather be wearing gym shorts.

15. A pick-up truck for the Good Doctor, finally!

16. A boy daddy who will let boys burn boxes just for fun. (And it cleaned out the carport!)

17. Corrective lenses and ophthalmic technology.

Failure...matey!

As an English major...nay, as an even slightly educated, English-speaking human...I should be too ashamed to admit this even to my closest friends, much less blog about it to all three of my readers. (I admit to a certain amount of overlap in those categories.) And I should certainly hesitate to expose my child by telling this. It puts my cultural literacy teaching skills in the very worst light. It puts my child's literacy in almost as bad a light. But I have decided to pass the buck and blame the school, thus turning this into an expose' of the deplorable academic failures of our education system, instead of a mea culpa regarding my mothering.

So, today we were in the car and something, I'm not sure what, put the September Baby in mind of Shakespeare, and he asked me something about him...something along the lines of why do people make such a big deal about the stuff Shakespeare wrote?

Now, I took a whole year of classes on Shakespeare in college (besides, Kenneth Branagh's Henry V is one of my favorite movies ever). I felt I was therefore uniquely qualified to answer a question like that. I mean, this is what parents wait for, isn't it? The glimmers of a yearning, curious mind in their progeny...proof of life, proof of intelligence! And I'm The Mother, after all. The Stay-at-Home Mom whose job it is, besides chauffer, to Be There when the Big Questions come up. The ones whose answers shape the future, not only of the child, but of mankind! And there I was, the Literary Parent to the Good Doctor's Science Parent. So, I turned down the conservative talk radio show, put down my iPhone, and began...

"It's 'cause...well...Shakespeare...William Shakespeare...was, like, you know...a really good writer and stuff..."

The February Baby piped up, sounding surprised and a little puzzled, and said, "I thought Shakespeare was a pirate!"

I gasped and swerved. "What?" Shrilly, "A...pirate?!?"

Then I laughed and twiddled the wheel, steering the Suburban off the curb and back into the street. "You're just kidding...aren't you, sweetie? Hahaha!"

"No, I'm not kidding," he said. "Honestly, for the past ten years, I've thought he was a pirate. I never knew he was a writer."

Wow.

Yeah.

That story is all I need, if I ever do need to prove my ineffectiveness as a parent--my utter uselessness at shaping the next generation.

However, as I said, I've decided to take the modern approach and shove the blame off on his school teachers.

And The Three will be drifting off to sleep tonight while listening to me read Hamlet...or, at least, while watching my DVD of Henry V.

Curbing the complaining

While I know this is only my second week of doing this...and two times does not a good habit make (although somehow a bad habit can be established with only one repetition)...and I didn't even remember that this day is "Multitude Monday" until the middle of the afternoon, I think this is an excellent exercise for me: a malcontent, a dedicated complainer, an eloquent caviller, a bellyacher, a sniveller, a griper. (I adore having a thesaurus right on my desktop, available with a touch of a button.) Naming the myriad of good things God has granted me...counting my blessings, as Bing Crosby would call it...has to be the perfect antidote for complaining. I am, in fact, commanded by God to give thanks "always and for everything." (Ephesians 5:20) So, here is number

8.  Since I've already mentioned the thesaurus on my computer, I'll go ahead and expand on that theme. I love my Mac! I am so thankful to be able to communicate quickly with friends and family. We all love the screensaver that works like a slideshow, bringing back memories of past trips and past times. I am diverted by some blogs and deeply moved and encouraged by other blogs that I read from time to time. The ease of being able to track down answers to the random questions that occur to all five of us daily is  so helpful...and educational!

9. I am thankful that my life and livelihood does not depend on my posting blog entries in a timely fashion. I started this on Monday. It is now Friday.

10. It's Good Friday. Praise God for His indescribable gift! Going back to my theme of four days ago, there at the top, just a couple of paragraphs up...How could thoughts of Him ever leave room for any complaining? It just shows how full of sin I am, how much in need of saving, and reminds me again to say how thankful I am for Good Friday!